One of the most difficult things for me, to this day, is to accept that you can enjoy life without feeling guilty about the person next to you not having enough.
I grew up in a system where you have to make sure that you constantly give money to the person standing at the traffic light with his hands palm side up. Cupping it, to catch every last cent you might throw his way. Or the child with torn clothes, looking really hungry and asking for money. Then you get the ones who are drama queens, telling you a story of their life and how miserable it is to be them and could yo please hand over R300 rands or R50, depending on what they think their story is worth.
When I ride on my bike or I walk along on a beautiful pathway beside a lake or in a bush, it is really hard not to think of those poor souls and how this specific place would have looked with a few of them to hassle me. Then I look at the people who also enjoy the walk and they seem to think that this is how life is and it does not even cross their minds that it could be any different. In fact, I find, on every trip, there are some people who find something to complain about, something that should have been better. Amazing isn't it, that a vision and an experience is so connected to previous experiences. I spoke to someone about this and how grateful I feel for where I am now and how hard it is not to feel guilty. He just answered, I don't feel guilty, life owes me this. Well, I am not there yet, I really feel very privileged to be a part of such a beautiful place for as long as I may be a part of it.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
New Things
Someone asked me a few months after we arrived: So what's New? well it is now 4+ years later and I still give the same answer... Everything, all the time.
It is just amazing when you get to a new place how much there is to learn.
Initially I tried to find the things that I miss about South Africa and in the process found a few South Africans, doing the same thing. Then I reminded myself that I did not want to be here looking for the old, but to try something new.
The school system, the church, shopping, living without walls around the house and living in paper houses..everything is different.
The paper houses are still a little foreign to me. I find it difficult to live in a house where the "walls have ears" and the neighbours are so close that you know exactly what they are saying and how they feel about the footy match they are watching.
It does bring everyone closer though and it is much easier to connect with your neighbour if you know what he thinks.
Hammering a nail into the wall to hang a painting is a different story. You have to make sure that you hit one of the little wooden beams, to ensure that your precious painting will actually stay on the wall.
Attaching a shelf is an even more difficult matter. We are used to brick walls, so if you do the job properly, you can attach anything to a wall. It is not always very funny when you build a shelf and stack it with books, just to hear a loud crash when you turn your back.
The one thing that I am still struggling to get used to is Freedom. I can now walk to the shop if I want to. I can ride a bike to where ever and back. I only learnt how to ride a bike in my 45th year, because my dad did not think it is something girls should do. It was too dangerous in SA anyway. If you did not get hi jacked off your bike, some one's dog would attack you.
Running is something I never wanted to do because of the safety issue, now, I run for hours when I have the time.
Time was so much more restricted because you had to have alarm systems for everything. It really did take a lot of time to do all of those security things. Now I get in my car that has been waiting outside in the street for me since yesterday and there I go! I park my car i a shopping centre where I don't always have to pay for someone to watch over it and then hope that he wouldn't steal it whilst I am shopping.
I still need to learn how to paddle on a surf ski and Harald still needs a boat to be captain of. but we are learning new things every day. What a great experience, to start life over half way through.
It is just amazing when you get to a new place how much there is to learn.
Initially I tried to find the things that I miss about South Africa and in the process found a few South Africans, doing the same thing. Then I reminded myself that I did not want to be here looking for the old, but to try something new.
The school system, the church, shopping, living without walls around the house and living in paper houses..everything is different.
The paper houses are still a little foreign to me. I find it difficult to live in a house where the "walls have ears" and the neighbours are so close that you know exactly what they are saying and how they feel about the footy match they are watching.
It does bring everyone closer though and it is much easier to connect with your neighbour if you know what he thinks.
Hammering a nail into the wall to hang a painting is a different story. You have to make sure that you hit one of the little wooden beams, to ensure that your precious painting will actually stay on the wall.
Attaching a shelf is an even more difficult matter. We are used to brick walls, so if you do the job properly, you can attach anything to a wall. It is not always very funny when you build a shelf and stack it with books, just to hear a loud crash when you turn your back.
The one thing that I am still struggling to get used to is Freedom. I can now walk to the shop if I want to. I can ride a bike to where ever and back. I only learnt how to ride a bike in my 45th year, because my dad did not think it is something girls should do. It was too dangerous in SA anyway. If you did not get hi jacked off your bike, some one's dog would attack you.
Running is something I never wanted to do because of the safety issue, now, I run for hours when I have the time.
Time was so much more restricted because you had to have alarm systems for everything. It really did take a lot of time to do all of those security things. Now I get in my car that has been waiting outside in the street for me since yesterday and there I go! I park my car i a shopping centre where I don't always have to pay for someone to watch over it and then hope that he wouldn't steal it whilst I am shopping.
I still need to learn how to paddle on a surf ski and Harald still needs a boat to be captain of. but we are learning new things every day. What a great experience, to start life over half way through.
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